July 7, 2010, 8:49pm. My cell phone rings. I don’t recognize the number but I’ll answer it anyway. One never knows when opportunity will knock or, in this technological time, call one’s cell phone. It was a telemarketer. I thought telemarketers weren’t supposed to call a person’s cell phone. This isn’t gonna end well!
“Hello, sir, I’m Jeff with (insert telemarketing company name here) and I’d like to ask you a few questions about music and musical equipment; if you choose to participate in our survey you will be eligible for a $5 gift card to the music retailer of your choice.” Wow! I’ll be able to get those guitar picks I’ve had my eye on. “What do you say, sir? Do you have time to participate in a brief survey?”
Never having been a fan of telemarketers, I snort, “I’ll start your survey but there’s no guarantee that I’ll finish it.”
“Thank you, sir,” he reads from his script. “In the past twelve months have you purchased TVs or home theater equipment, automobiles, computer equipment,“ I thought this was going to be a survey about music, “musical instruments,” oh, there it is, ”or car stereo equipment?”Â
“Yes, I’ve purchased musical instruments,” I answer flatly.
“Thank you, sir. What kind of musical instrument did you purchase.” Now, fearless reader, here’s where it gets good – though I don’t know it yet.
“A mandolin.” That was painless enough. If I can hang with it, that $5 gift card is as good as mine!
“Thank you, sir. Now, is that a keyboard? Or drums?”
Well, hello, Mr. Stupid! I knew this call wasn’t going to last long. I say, “nope. It’s a mandolin. You and I are done here!” With that, I hang up the phone and grab a pen so I can write down what just transpired. You just can’t make this stuff up!
 Thanks, Lock-It.
